I want to thank everyone for their love and support. Mom continues to hang in there. Yes, we have reached a new point in our relationship. I am becoming more tolerent of the things that use to bug me because I know that even these "bugs" I will miss when she is gone. I think the scariest part for me is knowing that when she is gone I will be totally alone. Except for her sister who is mentally retarded I have no contact with any other family. It was a tuff decision to let go of the rest of the family but a decision that was necessary to preserve my sanity. It is too lengthy to explain but as my t-shirt says "if you met my family you would understand". Mom has always been my anchor and I need to hold onto the memories as best that I can and whenever possible make new memories. Whereas mom has always held me up the time has come for us to hold each other up and when the time comes to detach with love - as someone said have no regrets. I am learning to appreciate each day more than I ever have in the past. The was an ad for a new TV show where the woman dies & comes back having a chance to have a do over with a past love. Well real life is not like that - there are no do overs. We need to take each day as it comes & make the most of it.

In response to a question that someone asked, YES mom does have a will and money that will go into trust for me (so it does not affect my benefits) but there are no other plans in place. We live in a very expensive condo and there will not be enough for me to remain here more than a few months after she passes. Her burial fund (I did ask about this) is CASH that she has in a safe deposit box she holds jointly with her best friend.