Hi Kb! Sorry I havent been in touch, we have had other drama going on with a harrassing neighbor! as if we don't have enough to stress about, but that is another whole problem. My hubby often becomes mean when he is in pain and can not deal with things properly. When he is having a "good" day I try to talk it over with him. I ask him if it is really me or if he is just stressed with the rest of his life. He tells me that it is not me and that he really appreciates me and all I do. So I try to hold on to that, all the other crap I just try to ignore. It reminds me of someone who has been drinking and says things that they really don't mean. Every day we are getting divorced, but I just let it go and it seems to be ok. Well I should clarify, that most of the time I can let it go. As I told you a couple days ago I had my breaking point. Just a bad day for me where everything finally built up inside and I had to let it out. I work out and clean the house and be moody to myself. My husband picks up on it but I tell him nothing is wrong. Then the next day when I am in a better frame of mind I explain that it is not him, it was just an overwhelming day.
Financially I think has been the most stressful. We are still fighting with disability, hopefully we will find out in the next month. I don't understand because he is unable to work, but apparently disability is difficult to get, or just takes a long time to get. We never know where our next dollar is coming from. But we have made it work. I am not a big stresser about money, but hubby is, and that makes it hard. I am in college but not working because of the time I have to spend taking care of him and the kids.
Like Kathy said, it is hard and your husband has to go through all of the stages of accepting the things he can and can not do. You both have to try and remember that at least you have each other, rely on each other and let it bring you closer together, instead of pushing you apart. But I know how hard it is to really do that! Communication is key. I find that my husband really likes to know how much I appreciate the things he can do, like when he brushes the kids hair or something. Although we go all day taking care of everything, without a thank you most of the time, you have to be extra strong. I am sure your husband really does appreciate you, but he may not know how to express it, he probably feels frustrated and mad because of the situation he now has to live with.
Hope that today is a better day.