Alice, I saw your post and wanted to offer some sympathy. I have a 30 yr old BP son, but few of us can forget the first years of dealing with a child with BP. I say that because these,early years, I think, are by far the hardest. The disease is brand new, your grief over your child's illness is especially raw and too close to the surface to hide well, and you do not quite know how to deal with your child's situation yet. I skipped past the other posts but I saw that someone was recommending sites and organizations for you to contact, and that is quite important for you to do, especially to get involved with mental illness support groups. NAMI has these groups in almost every community and you will find people there who either are in your situation or have been there. For your own sake, it is important to share your grief with others. It also helps to know there is help within your own community. I think it is also important to start building your own support network. Discuss your situation with your family doctor, your minister, or priest, or rabbi. And try to remain close to whomever is treating your child. There are important privacy issues to deal with too. Your child has the right to prevent anyone from learning about his condition, and can bar anyone from even giving information to those who are providing treatment. But these privacy issues can be dealt with if your son gives written permission to you to do so; and there are times when you will want to tell someone what is happening at home so that your child's treatment can take what you have to say into consideration.
Good luck to you, keep your chin up; it is not quite yet the end of the world.