Sure, I know there is hope. But at this moment in time, things have not gone far enough.

And when, after all my doctoring nightmares, my neurologist - whom I thought I could trust - looked at me last year and proclaimed that my MG is "mainly ocular anyway," I could hardly manage a comeback let alone have hope. I suppose I can hope that when I wear myself out for him in two weeks, I'll have the strength to help him see the truth. That plus making O2 saturation videos and taking photos. He is not an MG expert, so that doesn't help either. He was the one neuro left here who hadn't jumped on the "keep all of us from being sued" bandwagon by minimizing her disease. Geez, they're so paranoid. After 52 years of having this disease, having s-loads of proof, positive antibodies, an MG crisis, breathing tests that fluctuate highly according to how I'm doing and so much other proof, I'm still having to "fight" to be heard. I'm tired of fighting. I find it very hard to stand up to someone who has ultimate power over my health and is the only one left to care for my MG. Sort of like ticking off your jailer.

There's a distinct difference between ignorance of knowledge which causes a doctor to harm a patient and intentional dismissal of knowledge by a doctor to keep themselves from harm, which still harms the patient. I do not forgive the latter and don't believe there are any excuses good enough for such behavior, especially by those who supposedly have sworn to "Do No Harm." It's far more easy to forgive a "mistake" than an intentional act of harm.

Critical thinking, combining left and right sides of the brain through creativity, may be the only way to crack open people's minds. So many doctors have controlling personalities though and they are near to impossible to change because they cannot admit they're wrong without falling apart. They are so insecure - which I know sounds strange but is true - that they HAVE TO make everyone else appear wrong to feel good. And many "CP's" are attracted to positions of power, like doctoring, governing, policing, etc.

I digress. The bottom line for so many patients is that they need help and need it NOW. I'm grateful that there are doctors willing to rethink outdated facts. I know some of them who do. I'm glad you are doing your best to change what you can. We can all "try" to inch our doctors in a better direction. But don't expect me to have hope right now. My MG is bad and I have no hope for more treatment.

Annie