Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt638
Good Morning,
Thanks for the welcome Jaded. Sounds like you have a great handle on things. Question: How often is your husband mean to you or does he ever make you feel guilty for the decisions you make together regarding the RSD.
Today my wife is off to more doctor appointments. She was very upset because she asked someone besides me to take her when scheduled the appointments. I should mention her doctors are 5 hours away from where we live. She made me feel guilty for not taking her even though she asked someone else. Hard for me to understand.
Another question for you all out there: Do any of your spouses with RSD have a hard time staying within the proper amount of prescriptions for a given amount of time? My wife does, but I don't dare say anything or else she lashes back at me telling me that "you want me in pain".
We started couples counseling on Monday, and she did well. She took the counselors suggestions well and understood everything that was being said while we were there. But damn that RSD and troubled childhood...later that evening and last night every piece of misguided logic came racing back to her. She tells me that she knows what the counselor said, but that is a fantasy world and I need to get over expecting her to change.
I will stick it out with her while she attends counseling because I love her...but if she can't wrap her mind around how she hurts me and my children we will have to make the best lives for ourselves without her. I should also tell you folks that couples counseling was on the horizen before the RSD diagnosis. This disease has simply made everything worse. It is very unfortunate, but I feel that raising my children in a loving household, without guilt and anger, is the most important priority...not RSD.
Thanks!
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I feel it is not ok regardless of how high her pain is to be taking more meds than her doctor rx for her. This can be dangerous. So by you stating what you did to her it is out of care not that you want her to hurt. Could you maybe go with her to a doctor apt and explain this to the doctor? Maybe he can adjust the meds or add in a safe one.
As time has went on I have really worked hard to change how I respond and speak to my support my mom. I used to not on purpose but say things that I think made her feel guilty or get angry easily. She stated that I did those things and it opened my eyes. It is not ok just because I was in pain to do this. So now when she suggests something I try to be open to her suggestions and know it is out of love. If I am hurting or upset I either say I am not up to talking or try to remind myself that it is not my moms fault and that I need to be calm and cope better. Same with your family members.
This is not easy I know and takes time but I think you both need to speak up for yourself. In the long run it makes things better for everyone.