Donna, it sounds like a typical week in the bipolar neighborhood.
First, car insurance. If your wrecked car has collision coverage, use that insurance, pay the deductible, and get the car fixed. Your insurance company will try to get the guilty party who has no insurance, to pay them back. Whatever money the insurance company collects, they first have to reimburse your deductible, and then they can keep the rest. If you do not carry collision coverage on the wrecked car, you can try to collect from the guilty party yourself. But that rarely happens. A better bet is to go to small claims, file a claim at your court house, take the accident report and repair estimates to court and let a judge render a judgment in your favor.
Second, SSI. Yes, SSI gets their money back. You already know that Social Security System isn't going to give anyone a break.
Third, yourself. Having a child with a mental illness is very stressful, and unlike other types of grief, the grief you feel never goes away. And it does not sound like you are not doing much for yourself. It also sounds like your husband is not too helpful either. Well, please develop your own support network. Look in phone book for NAMI, and make contact with them, they have support groups where you can talk to others in your same position. And when you are at your doctors, tell them about your family situation. Part of your doctor's job is to know the community, and to refer you to people who can help you deal in the best possible manner with loved ones who have mental illnesses. Talk also to your minister, priest, or rabbi. They have helped others like you many times, and will help you too. And remain in close contact with case manager and psychiatrists. Get the appropriate releases signed that will enable you to do this.