Dear Donna

right now my immediate goal is just to get from one day to the next, alive and somewhat functional. i don't have room for anything else. the next goal would be Aug 6 when i get 2 weeks off, but that is too far away, and the 2 weeks are a source of stress for other reasons.

Dear Mari

ditto. nothing to do with germs, i can control excess cold by covering... i cannot control excess heat by uncovering.

i was getting jibbed at all day yesterday, for putting my jacket on. i am more cold than others. i also do not advertise that i have a delicate stomach and will tend to get stomach-ache or chill if i catch cold around the waistline. the jacket was a light windbreaker - but waterproofed. normally i would have brought a cotton cardigan or pashmini, but we had expected rain. i did not feel like carrying bunches of stuff, so i took the windbreaker that covered all bases. we control the thermostat. different ppl have different ideas over how it should be kept. and the thermostat itself seems to have autonomous ideas as to what it should do when it reaches set temp.

very familiar with this scenario. when i worked someplace (in the US)

-- with less rigid social "expectations" of behavior
-- where i'd been working several years, and on permanent hire

certainly it is not fun being teased for wearing something warmer. i am sure the fact it was a jacket contributed. but i would have been anyway even for a more indoorsy thing... i'll have to ignore them till they get so used to it they get bored making fun. that or verbally lash out one day when i can't take any more and ... who knows how that would go. i was teased all through school and highschool. i am super vulnerable to it. but now i am grown and have big pointy teeth... and every now and then... welllllll.....

coffee is done different in this country because espresso is used. ppl where i've worked before had typical "coffee breaks" with coffee being made as needed (usually big automatic dispensers) and consumed in the breakroom:
- morning upon arrival (i don't know if these guys do)
- mid-morning coffee
- one after lunch but since we eat out it comes with
- mid-afternoon

in other places, i did not always observe the breaks, but i felt free make an individual dash and brink a coffee back to my desk. this group hardly even observes the breaks as a group. it's often only 1 or 2 that observe a "break" ... i use it as a drug to counter morning grog or excess lorazepam.
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Bathroom is near enough and clean but problematic in other ways. mostly since i had incidents at the other place (and despite being reassured that bathroom had chronic case of incidents years prior to me), i am just slightly bathroom-phobic right now. and these guys will show no mercy in terms of teasing.

hallway/passageway, not entrance. either way. no good. ppl aren't hanging behind me tg.

thanks for the thoughts

~ waves ~