I know how hard it is. My brother was always my mom's favorite. He could do no wrong. He left home when he was 18 but was still Mom's favorite. As I have always put it she had one child and it was my brother. But she depended on me to do many things for her. My parents were a dysfunctional couple. They should have divorced many years before she died. She was not well for many years so her care fell on me. If I didn't do things right or wanted to go out I was guilted into doing what she wanted me to do. I loved her but did not always like her. My father is a selfish SOB. He still is.

The last year of my Mom's life she lived with cancer and its treatment which was difficult. My dad and brother could not deal with it or the terminal diagnosis so guess who had to - me. I was in my early 20s. I did and it was not easy. During that time I had knee surgery with a cast from hip to ankle but still lifted my mom from bed to wheel chair and to where ever. I was there alone with her day and night. She did her best to shield my brother from her deteriorating condition while not giving me any peace or relief from it at all. I was alone the last weekend when she finally had to be hospitalized and it was thru some help of a friend that my dad had to take care of her for a few hours and could not do it. Thats the only reason she was put in the hospital. She was not in her right mind but was mad at being in the hospital. I was trying to talk to her and her last words to me was "Are you enjoying watching this". I tried not to put any meaning to those words. She died the next day.

When I look back I have no guilt. I don't regret a single day. I am at peace. My brother and dad, well I don't know. They only know their heart. Everyone had to do what makes their heart feel right. You have to make the decision that when they are gone you can look back and know your heart will be at peace with yourself.

My dad is still an SOB. But I can't cut him out. I have cut contact or rather he has chosen to do so because of some slight he has perceived that I did. Well that has made it easier on me. So I go with it. He is 87 now and sometime in the future he will not be here anymore. I don't want him to leave and me to not be at peace with myself. So I don't cut ties with him. That is my decision.

Just make sure that in the end you can live with your decision and your heart is at peace and your mind is tranquil.