In looking at reactions to both acute trauma and chronic stress it is easy to get in so deep that you just throw your hands up and quit. True of both PWP and scientists. So where possible I try to think simple at first.

In this case, consider "yours truly" as a child. Abusive drunk for a dad. Milk toast Mama. Two younger siblings. Somehow I had gotten the idea that it was my job to protect everybody. Thus a constant tension in the air. Walking on eggshells. Daddy late? Gonna be trouble! etc etc

So, looking at this as a Skinner box (simple conditioning), I quickly learned that strong emotions meant trouble. So avoid them. I learned that adrenaline linked to something unpleasant. So stuff it down. I learned that things could go all to hell real quick. So be alert/hypervigilant. I learned that the only one in my immediate family with any damn sense was me. So if it is important I had better do it. Chronic stress meant stability and no one in pain. So cortisol is good. Acute trauma meant chaos and someone I cared about hurting. So adrenaline is bad.

We know that PWP have high cortisol levels. We know that adrenaline, *once we progress beyond a certain point and lose control,* quickly destroys us. But up until we reach that point, adrenaline is what we run on.

I feel like Ronald Reagan looking at the dirty stable- "There must be a pony in here somewhere."