Ok, I just have to get this off my chest as this is how I am feeling.

I am not able to drive until I go so many months without another seizure/neurological event. It is so hard sometimes to sit around the house all day and go nowhere and/or see no one (until DBF comes home). DD19 is gone to her bf's parents house and won't be back until this weekend. Last week I went to my mom's for a visit and to spend time in the a/c. This week, I'm home and it gets boring. Well, boring isn't the right word as I have plenty to do. I would say lonely. I think that is why I enjoyed my iChat with DD19 so much yesterday. DD21 is on vacation with her bf and his family. She'll be back today though and I asked her to take me somewhere, anywhere, once she gets back.

While I keep myself busy with all sorts of different things, there are some days I just miss the company and having someone around. It is worse when I am in pain or don't feel well. I guess it has to do with growing up in a large family where someone was always around. When I go to DD21's apartment for some a/c time, not only do I feel great in the a/c but the noise around the apartment is comforting. My house is quiet. While most of my neighbors are home all the time, you never see or hear them. Even though it's summer, I never hear the kids out playing. Maybe it is too hot. But during the school year, I love it when the bus drops the kids off and I can hear their voices and laughter as they walk home. And, they are out playing more after school.

When I was able to drive, I made sure I went out somewhere everyday. I would go to the library on some days. I would go to the store. I would even sit in McDonalds for a while. It didn't matter where I went as long as I went. And, you meet all sorts of people while out and to me that is awesome. I love meeting all sorts of people. Even though I am a shy person, I enjoy listening to what others have to say. In fact, most of my "conversation" with others is based on me just listening.

I often think of you all as I know many of you are in the same position that I am and wonder how you all do it. How do you deal with being alone so much? And, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being by myself and can certainly keep myself entertained but there are days that it is just so hard.

So, that is how I am feeling today.