Thanks guys and defreeze congrats on your baby girl. I guess ive been dealing with ignorant people for so long that I keep trying to find a way out of the fear of hydro but I just don't know where to look. Like whenever I try and go for help someone just attacks me instead that it is hard to find hope that the feelings will go away. Like every road i turn to is just a dead end. It has gotten bad to the point where I have looked at more info on hydro and it is like wow I can be a burden on someone. People have made me feel like having hydro is like being married to someone who already ahs a kid. It is extra baggage that no one else wants. I know it sounds silly but idk where the right help is.