Jim Auer / Care Notes writes about five habits of those who grieve well and one of my favorites is Gentleness. He writes:

Gentleness - Don't scorch, freeze, or crush the flower. All of us like to think of ourselves as strong and capable. A "mighty oak" or at least a "sturdy maple". And most of the time, we are.

There are different kinds of strength, however. One important kind is the strength to realize our fragility when it is the case. The days of grief are like flowers. They can be scorched with the heat of excess activity. They can be frozen by the icy, chilling mindset. "This will not bother me." They can be crushed in the grip of too many obligations. Gentleness is a very real type of strength. There is a reason why a "real man" is known as a "gentleman". It has to do with the real display of strength - gentleness.

The Healing Garden..Newsletter of compassionatefriends. Aug. 2011 issue