Mommyjen--As I have said before, I think it is wonderful that you have undergone a process of accepting and coping with the severity of your illness. It is also to be respected that you are able to be creative and found your dream job by selling antiques from your bed. That is truly to be respected and admired!

But again, Mommyjen everyone is unique, and needs to find out ON THEIR OWN, IN THEIR OWN WAY what works or doesn't work for them. Sometimes, it is very difficult if one "perceives" that another is TELLING them that they are not "open" to other possiblities in order to cope with RSD.

Communicating over the web effectively is very difficult, for one cannot make eye-contact, observe body language, or hear intonations if the voice, which is critical with communicating effectively. Therefore , the CHOICE of words, on a Forum such as this, and HOW they are presented is very important.

For instance, when you use words and phrases like "that is your spin with your comrades in arms" or "that is his dance..and you are going along with it " , etc., this evokes a "FEELING "or that could easily be PERCEIVED as a negative condemnation of the WAY that someone is learning to adapt so that their life is more positive and fulfilling.

Could it be, Mommyjen,that because YOU seemingly have found a way to deal in a positive manner with your RDS, that perhaps you feel that OTHERS who have not yet acheived this, are somehow INFERIOR to you in some way?

Or, could it be, Mommyjen, that in SPITE of your success with finding an alternate form of work, are raising children, and trying to maintain a family, etc. that DEEP DOWN INSIDE, you still resent the way doctors and others have treated YOU; you resent the fact that you STILL have RSD despite desperately flying around the country to therapists and doctors for approriate treatment; and despite ALL of this, you are still, unfortunately, basically "bed-ridden" and struggling to find a more positive way to overcome this??

It is my feeling that because you are posting on this Forum, and have so very graciously and BRAVELY shared your story with us, Moomyjen, that you are REACHING OUT to people who TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HELL of RSD, and would like to have "COMRADES" who can SUPPORT YOU. Perhaps you feel insecure about HOW to effectively communicate your fears and concerns, so you choose to more "assertive" and somewhat aggressive in your manner and approach. That is PERFECTLY understandable, should that be the case.

You have stated several times that because of your experience with RSD, that it has caused you to become quite "defensive". We ALL have "acted out" in this manner, at one point or another, but we have also learned to be more trusting and GENTLE when communicating with each other. It is also quite natural and to be expected that "disagreements" will arise. Sometimes, it can be "perceived" that a different opinion or point of view is a "personal attack". Again, the choice of WORDS is usuallythe culprit, and through more thoughtful reconsideration of one's "approach", disagreements are resolved in a healthy manner.

And, perhaps , Moomyjen, it is difficult for YOU to BELIEVE that people who ALSO have RSD, and have found treatment sthat are successful, which have enabled them to become far more active than they once thought they COULD be, is somewhat threatening to you, because this is what you desire, but have not yet fully acheived. Yet, somehow, it appears from your words and responses, that you do not know how to reconcile this, so you hit a "nerve", in order to find a way to open the channels of communication with others.

Your choice of words are revealing, Mommyjen, as are the ways you choose to present them. We ALL need to be reminded from time to time and continue to learn to be more cognisant of how WORDS can affect people...and be more SENSITVE to the fragilities of others, physical OR emotional. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and that is just part of being HUMAN.

RSD is a VERY difficult Journey, as you know, Mommyjen. However, it offers EACH INDIVIDUAL an opportunity to grow and learn and find their OWN path, in the context of their OWN lives. It cannot be FORCED on them. At times, it appears from your words, as well intentioned as they are, that this is what you are attempting to do. Again, your words reflect that this is what OTHERS have done to YOU, by your own account. It is very uncomfortable to be placed in that position, even though unintentional.

I would like to be your friend, and perhaps others on this Forum would like that as well, Mommyjen, should you wish for us to be. It is only requested that you please RESPECT our INDIVIDUAL Journeys with RSD. In return, your Journey will be respected as well, and you you find immense support amongst an AMAZING group of interesting, diverse, and intelligent people!

In the Spirit of Respect, Sincerity and Friendship

Brokenwings