My dearest, beloved, scientist-I-wanted-2-B BlueMajo,

First off, how I wish I could have been there for your presentation. In fact, had I known, had it registered with me & my own life not been so impossibly screwed up at the moment, I would have been there--5th row center!

I have to jump down in your post & admit that 1ce again (even in your despair) your insight bowled me over & had me . Here's why:
Sweetie, that's the very definition of "student." Well, you probably weren't like that--but most students are. Gosh awful!! Of course they tore into you. Just like puppies when a dog from mom's older brood visits. It's just that that's all they know how to do now.

The other PhDs? There's simply nothing more arrogant than a young PhD. Arrogance is primarily what they have going for them--that, & a degree (if they're lucky, actually worth the paper it's printed on).

The high road of academia is a narrow, rocky one. Hinds feet in high places. Don't worry about ANY of those "others." Keep your sites on your goal, take care of your needs, & value those little children with cancer, fighting for their lives.

You are at a point now in your developing career when you are going to need to grow feet on all your wonderful ideals. Give those ideals a solid base, so you can go from talking the talk (student) to walking the walk (scientist).

You are your science's champion, BlueMajo. These other people around you here are just around you here. No more no less. They don't carry value in your world. Those precious little children do. THEY have great value.

I always found Science itself a grand Patron, Mentor, Lover. Some if it's reps, however... The profs, scientists, politicians, business execs

In retrospect, had I to do it again, I wouldn't abandon it as I did. Zen? Perhaps for the inner game. For the outer mask, I recommend to you La Gioconda. The Mona Lisa.