I'm so glad you decided to stop in & visit with us. There's a lot of information available here, & a whole lot of support. Darlene's link, if you haven't gone already, will take you to a great place to get in touch with people who can understand what you've been through, as well as what you will be going thru in the weeks to follow.
Please keep coming back here offer. Ask questions a lot. You should never have to wonder, even for a second, whether you're crazy. You're not. But come by here & let us know what's going on with you, & we can maybe help you figure it out.