If Pter were here dear Pooh, he would tell you this,

"You are rescuing yourself daily, hourly, every few minutes. Each thought envokes a physiological reaction with the end result being exhaustion. Befriend this thought. Treat it as you would the child who ran into the pathway of cars. Hold it, talk to it, teach it that there is another way to walk the roads of life. Post it here and allow others to comfort it. Do not be ashamed of it. What is it really but a thought that wants attention. Understand now, I did not say a PERSON who wants attention but a THOUGHT that wants attention from that person. It is the fight against the thought that tires us and makes us vulnerable to enactment of the thought.

I cannot give you a reason to live. I can, however, take away your reason for dying. An untrained unaccepted thought is not justification for death."

He fought the depression beast on a daily basis, as you are doing. It takes great courage to continue this fight and we all know that you are up to the challenge...I am not minimizing the difficulty...I just want you to know that we are here to catch you if you fall. Hang tough..you are loved.