dear Bobby

Yes indeed, "iffy proposition" describes it very well, and i was probably too blinded probably by my own adrenaline to see it. there were deeper intrigues i only learned this week, and the deeper they sank in, the more abominable the situation seemed, perhaps aided by the med increase and yet further "clarifications." Perhaps the med increase contributed too - 5 days on increased dose is plenty for it to kick in.

right now, i don't have plans and actually feel relieved about that. my tendency is to do things impromptu. i can handle plans when necessary but generally stick to a minimum. plans make me feel stuck. i like feeling free. others i know experience the opposite. i guess some of these things are in our DNA. my mom is a planner and so is my dad, so this isn't a learned thing for me.

for the moment, i think i really could use being a "cave-person" (as Jude says in another thread) for 2 weeks straight. now i know that won't really happen. but i don't have anything in particular in mind. just vague ideas... a stroll to the icecream spot across the street, perhaps try to get some walking in that isn't directed at getting me to work or back, perhaps do some art if i can contain the "messiness" .

i am sorry your life is so difficult with all these changes to deal with lately. you hang in there!!!

love you

~ waves ~