Debbie - You do have a lot going on. And, for some MSers, MS does alter our coping mechanisms. It is frustrating and upsetting and getting upset about it makes it worse. What is going on in your life right now is not something you can put on the back burner. It just isn't going to happen. I think most people in your situation would feel a lot of what you are feeling whether they have MS or not. Watching the people that we love decline so rapidly is not easy and emotionally can take it's toll.

I don't have much advice for you except try to connect with other caregivers (you are part of your in-laws caregiving team). They may have something at one of the assisted living facilities close by you. Talking with others in a similar situation may help you feel that you are by no means alone in what you are feeling and experiencing.

Also, try to find little things you enjoy doing that are stress free activities. For me, keeping my hands busy during stressful times is key. I do a lot of detailed artwork during that time. I write in my journal and that always helps. If you are able to concentrate enough to read a book, read. If you like doing needlework, go for it. (I used to do cross stitch years ago and found the same stress relief when doing it.) Listen to music. If you have an iPod or something like that, put all your favorite songs on there and listen to the ones that calm you and bring happy memories to your mind. It really does help.

Additionally, what I have found over the past few months that is helping me is magnesium. It's amazing how much better I feel when I take it regularly. My tremors have calmed down so much and even the muscle spasms/muscle fatigue. I am stronger since taking it regularly. Emotionally, I am less stressed and anxious (a bonus of taking magnesium). I use it transdermally but I also make sure I get plenty of it in my diet. MrsD has that fantastic thread about magnesium. It really does help.

Also, if you find that even with the meds you are getting angrier than before, ask you dr to switch you to something else. That med may not be the one for you. I had a reaction like that with Cymbalta. Three days on it and I started having aggressive thoughts. I stopped taking it and my PCP switched me to Paxil. Cymbalta was GREAT for nerve pain but was not the medicine for me emotionally. Paxil is great at keeping you calm but it was a little too calming for me and I eventually ended up with a flat affect. But, I would not hesitate to switch to Paxil during stressful times, even if it is only for a couple of weeks (which I did a couple of months ago and it was so helpful). For now, I am on Celexa which for the most part works well.

I will keep you in my prayers.