Watch the meds, knowing they can work a number on ya. Yep, I have had both Amytrip and Diazepam, each having their uses, but gogginess is a heavy side effect.

But what has me FAR MORE concerned is teh "getting sick of life at the moment." Unleashed, it can run ragged and roughly through your life, bringing you near to ruin..... all you gotta do is take a look at my posts from last October, a horrifically difficult time for me.... zeroing down to deep deep depression. Do check out the threads on Depression. Do talk to your Doc/Consultant about this. Do NOT allow it to go unabated, for many risks are posed thereby. I CARE about you dear Saffy, and just wanna wrap my arms around you and give a "bear hug." So we have to do this in cyberspace , but please please please let real people in your daily life there where you live in on the free radicals going through your mind. PLEASE.

This is precisely why I have taken on the notion of ALWAYS seeking the blessings in my life. You ARE one of them. This morning I even wrote a new song which will develop into a praise song for worship. Yesterday, four poems, one being a writing I posted on a CaringBridge site for a very young friend in our church with husband and children- she has developed rectal cancer and is currently in both radiation and chemo- here is the poem, as it applies to many of us here as well:

Reflection
MRidder 20110811

Jesus, you look into my eyes
and know I am ill and wonderin why?
My life has been Yours, surrender a must,
and the turns I have taken followed You through the dust
of lifelong hard roads, those preparatory chores
which brought me to joy and infinitely more.
So, Lord, I am now in a place where the need
for your care and Your grace are required indeed
to lift me with Your strength to the next treatment day
and bolster the courage of my family Your way.
For we know You are here, each one of us now
feeling your touch of blessing, we need this and how.
While we deal with an illness which brings you so near
with hope we trust in Your touch so very dear
and the life light that You bring when e’er you draw nigh
we all hope shows reflection of You in our eyes.

Now, I am not heavily throwing religion in your face Saffy, but in my darkest moments I had to realize God was with me, the personal God, the God of my life....... not the glitter and glitz or bling of the religion presented God, but my personal friend. So, for me, I began to reflect on blessings, bringing my life out of the darkness and back into the light.

CARING and Praying for you my friend,
Mark56Z great big ones