...That was beautiful, Mark

Dearest Saffy -
Please know how precious you truly are. You do not deserve this. I often have wondered why such wonderful people have to suffer like this.
For what it's worth, just know that I completely understand where you are at right now. I suffered silently in my own darkest hour and I was actually preparing myself mentally to 'check out'..... I actually prayed that I could just go to sleep and not wake up. I had given up, exhausted from fighting the fight. I was prepared to call it quits and I tried to find a way to apologize to my family, friends, and anyone else who cared. I just didn't have it in me to continue fighting the good fight of faith. I felt like a failure.
The worst mistake I made during that time (only months ago) was isolating myself and allowing the darkness to consume me. I couldn't bare to let anyone see me like that.
Somehow tho, things actually started turning around for me - but not by my doing. It took me awhile to actually see that things were going in an uphill slant. I've battled depression alot during my life.
Whether or not you are technically 'depressed' by medical standards, please know that right NOW can be the day you look back on and declare that this is your lowest of lows. Turn this into your testimony and see yourself coming out of this.
And most of all, thank you for not isolating yourself. You came here amongst friends and reached out. This shows how strong you really are.