Hello,
Thankss for working on this whether you believe it or not. I want to adress a few bed things I was asked because the picture being painted of me is incorrect. I wake up an hour befor my children in order to ge my muscles loose enough to get up. When the meds kick in the kids snuggle in my bed ntil my morphine kicks in. We get u and dresses. I use my chair to make them breakfst we like home made pumpkin pancakes! I read to them or play with as best as I can. I have thm involved in play groups so the other moms can bee a suporrt to me and the boys get rough and tumble time. I am thier sole caregiver from 6 am to 5 am every day We have accomodated to where they have a full and happy life. Some weeks I have my epidural pump IV system in and then I can do more. Is my day excruciating? YES it hurts but I do it any way. This is a concept I learned in treatment and it saved my life. I get my antiques at local auction where the peole there know me. I go only at night when dh is home. They bring things to put my legs on or anything I my need for comfort. I sit and buy my items. Then my guys load all the stuff for me. My husband brings it all in and I work only when the children are napping or in bed. Working on my brain by studying pieces helps to focus less on pain. As far as my children touching me Yes it hurts but if my sons lips were razor blades I would happily be bleeding from anyplace he blessed me with a kiss. I hurt all the time so I would never deny myself the grace of my babies to satisy a misguided nerve symbol that is wrong any way.
If I get cured I will still be ill from all that has been destroyed so I use my stregth to alienate myself from the diease with in my body. If anyone is interested I can explain it more.

I am confused as to why many feel this is an attack on what they do. I never pick out a person or a style as wrong. I simply am sharing what I have learned and trying to open an honest dialouge about the psychology or chronic illness every one is too defenssive to get close to it, I would like to change that and get the shame out having this condition. I did come to learn and try to help. I am not looking down on anyone. I am looking forwardd collectively.
Roz, I fail to see how encouraging people to be open minded and avoid the pitfalls of over identifying with illness is hurting anyone. It is the most loving thing I can think of to do.