If you check the date of my original post, you can see that it is almost five years old. The daughter I was writing about passed away in January of this year, but nothing to do with drugs or her illness. She died when our house burned down, and she was on the second floor with no means of escape. Actually, I believe she was asleep and then was unconscious, so there was no hope of her getting out.

Anyway, to return to your questions, I'm afraid I don't have much to offer in the way of help. The answers appear to be complicated and well beyond the scope of this forum. Perhaps being incarcerated for awhile could be the best thing for him for a little while? It's hard when our grown children need help but don't want it. There may not be much you CAN do at this point. If I were in your shoes, which I am not, I know it would be hard, but I would just try to let him go. He's had many years to build the type of life he has now, and it would take a great deal to turn him around. Perhaps he would listen to his sister?

All I can do is offer my friendship and (((hugs))) to both you and your wife. Whatever happens, you both did the best you could do; he is an adult and should be in control of his own life.