Donna, it gets your points across. There's nothing misleading or inaccurate. I used to edit this sort of stuff but it always lost the personality of the writer. In your case, your personality, which shines in your writing, elevates your story. It's not all "proper" grammar. It's a powerful testimony.

I would go with the powerful personality myself. I'm thinking everyone else agrees. Be you. Don't worry about the dote & dashes.