well i did start to text back but couldn't word it reasonably without being a B.

so a bit later called my team-boss at the client's. it rang through to the operator who transferred me to the colleague that had called the contractor. he asked questions but didn't press.

monday the contractor is back and will no doubt be all over me. i want to avoid speaking so i will probably send email to say i am still not well. my anxiety levels are almost permanently through the roof. i jump when the fan squeaks.

i want to just send an "effective Sept 1, I QUIT, due to health reasons." others (even dad) advises to make use of the health leave, and if they don't recede, i can do so after the leave.

that feels dishonest because, to me, a "leave" implies a temporary absence with intent to return. in this case, it would be an economic maneuver, an attempt to push them to recede thereby avoiding a penalty for quitting without notice. it is irrelevant that i am too messed up to work right now, because when i am better, i want to do something ELSE, not go back there! so i have NO intent to return.

i may lose money on the deal, depending if they pay me my last month (net), then invoice me for the gross amount, or if they just don't pay me.

i prefer the honest track - it is true to me. pulling a money maneuver might glean a few more bucks but i know it would also make me feel like a dog. i don't need to feel worse than i already do.

~ waves ~