Back in October I played on concussion symptoms for a week and my brain pretty much reached it's breaking point. Two running relapses: one after being released to run in January, and one after a month of running with UBuffalo's program in June.

I have returned to college. I am walking around 20 minutes a few days when I feel up to it. After my first day of classes, I had a severe crying spell with suicidal feelings, etc. This was mostly psychological and I think I was just overwhelmed at the thoughts of trying to get through this semester.

After one week of simply walking to and sitting through class, my head is killing me right now. I was so mentally exhausted and out of it (I call it my 'zombie mood') after class today that two strangers actually stopped on the sidewalk and asked me if I was okay. I have been laying in my bed for the past 5 hours trying to recover from this week. I cannot stop crying. I am experiencing the suicidal depression that is always accompanied by a pressure feeling in my head. It is not a sadness from realizing my limitations or getting overwhelmed. It is not psychological. It cannot be controlled.

I just need some reassurance. I don't know what to do at this point. It is the first week of class, I've had only one assignment, which is not even close to the amount of school work I will be expected to do this semester. I'm tired of people saying to have faith or people telling me to keep my head up and have a positive attitude. I would rather have a realistic approach and realize this could be permanent and my head might have limitations forever..

I'm too tired to think. I need advice.