I am sorry that you are going through such a rough time. This is SO hard to deal with....I am 10 months out and have had a few relapses. It sounds like you have taken on alot and are putting alot of pressure on yourself. Your health is the most important thing.

Accepting the "new" normal has been a very slow process for me, one that is ongoing. Do you have anyone that you can talk to? When I was at my lowest it was all I could do to communicate with those closest to me, but I now know how important that is. Now when I feel myself on a back slide I try to make it known to those few who try to understand what I am going through.

Thinking of you and hoping that each day gets a little better.