I come here because I have that depression too. I do not tell many how I feel eithor, for fear they would think me crazy. Find a reason, any little thing that brings joy. I listen to Joe Bonommassa a blues artist, it drowns out my sorrowand helps some. Full blast when I can. Keep here with these good people. They have given me lots of good reasons to stick around, even if I can't see them at this moment. I think people do get to that place in life where life is just plain hard. It takes courage to be here to admit the sorrow that you feel. This pain you live with isn't something to shrug off, or to treat you bad over. Shame on a medical system that makes people feel bad over the medicines they need. I am horrified on how much power these doctors have over us. When we hurt, we are in such a vunerable state and so scared. I sometimes wonder where compassion is with some doctors. I hear stories here like yours, and I wonder what kind of people are in those positions. They are going to get sick someday too. Do they want to be treated like that? Find a different Psych if you can. I have a personal friend who is my psych even though he really isn't suppose to council me he does. We've been friends for 35 years. I hope you can find a best buddy here in this forum to help you through the ruff spots. I returned to try to find some of the same. Take care, I keep this forum in my prayers, ginnie