My dear mom passed in early August, within days of my post here. I really appreciate everyone's support.

Something that really helped me with this issue was learning that when the body is actively dying, as they told me my mom was in that stage, the organs are shutting down. This means, the nurses told me, that the organs are not functioning....putting food or fluids into the body at this point can actualy cause pain and discomfort. With regards to IV fluids, which I was grappling with, the IV fluids cannot be processed by the kidneys because they are shutting down, so the fluids end up in the lungs, causing discomfort. Once I realized that hydrating my mom with IV fluids was not giving her comfort but was, rather, causing pain and not hydrating her at all because the fluids were ending up in her lungs, I let go.

I didn't know any of this and it was a huge help in deciding what to do. Hospice of course will tell you what should be done because death is inevitable (I was told my mom had less than a day...) but I was not told why. For some reason, the "why" helped me make the decision I needed to make, hard though it was.

Perhaps this will help someone else. I wish everyone peace, and gratitute for your support.