Hi

I had to go home today as I just knew that things are boiling up again inside me. It's coming up, the day is the 12th of September, thats when she passed away. I remember looking into her eyes when she was very frail and thinking how am I going to live without you, I cannot believe this. I was so angry that she was leaving us and we had no control over it. I never would of imagined it happening to me. I would always here about it on the news and was so scared to even think about it. She got cancer. When she was alive, I would always scan her stomach area, thinking you need to go on a diet just was worried about her. She went overseas and got sick was operated on. They wouldn't tell us, my aunty was too scared to even tell us. I said it cancer and she wouldn't say anything. She came back frail she had lost alot of weight, I thought to myself we have a battle on our hands. She had colon cancer and it had spread to the liver. Then it eventually spread to her brain. She was gone, she died at the age of 56.
She was my best friend, I think about her and I just weep. It has gotten easier not thinking about her before bed or when I get up in the mornings. Five years really doesn't seem that long. I don't know how some people do it. I have alot of pain, and yes I see someone occasionally to talk about things.
My dad is 74 this year and has married again, its hard..............he has done this so that he has a companion, I resepct that, but need to cope with the new member of the family.

Anyway I will be alright I'm just feeling a little down today

xxxh