Originally Posted by nightnurse30

4 weeks after going back to work and i have to say....its not getting any easier and my symptoms arent lessening. I did have two major tests last week of my cognitive abilities and reaction time. One was a patient who coded while he was standing and I had to grab him and hold him off the ground and screamed out for help. I was able to quickly report the incident to the responding team and the fact that i also got the regurge shock from his internal defibrillator. Headache came on after the event.

The next night, i had the sickest, most stressful case come from the OR that brought on icepick headaches, i was tremulous, anxious, and completely unsupported by the charge nurse who played with her iphone while my patient was hanging on to her life by a thread and i was beyond overwhelmed. I almost asked someone to go to my car to get my sunglasses because the computer screen was killing my eyes. It was a very difficult night and required fiorinal, tylenol, ibuprofen, and then finally a percocet when i left work.

Im coming to the realization that my doctor saying it will take a year to get better may be doubled now that i am exhausting myself at work and setting myself back. But when i think about what i would prefer more.... Either staying home, being bored, getting depressed, but having less symptoms or working, saving lives, dealing with symptoms and constant headaches, and spending my days off exhausted and recuperating...... i have to choose working because it defines me and gives me meaning. But i know its gonna be worse for my recovery. I just pray it gets easier.