Hello Kitty

I am so sorry that your pain has been so severe that it has left you feeling vulnerable, isolated and by the sounds of it desperate.

Pain is a savage curse in that it limits us as human beings and reduces us to children [in that it renders us helpless]

Many moons ago i attempted suicide on the back of considerable back pain[ i fell from a roof and crushed two discs in my back]

because i was only in hospital two days and managed to walk around i left...i was told in time it would settle down and the pain would dissipate.

5 years after the injury the depression set in..mainly because no one believed i could fall, injure my spine and not have been in hospital long term...[even doctors ]

my GP for years never even wrote or contacted the hospital [300 miles away where my injury took place to clarify the original diagnosis]


long story short ......suicide entered my head....and only after the event.......was i given a full spinal scan..................[one year later] which identified four dodgy discs not two...which meant other things were going on degeneratively

I had facet joint injections that helped for many years only in the last three months have i started to suffer again.....but it is mind numbing i know.


there are as Barbo said many anti-depressants out their...and a good Dr will eliminate those that can enhance a mind already experiencing suicidal ideology [yes they do exist Free Kittens ...i was on Prozac 19 years ago when i tried....i did not give me the energy to do it it gave me more anger /resentment and sent me into a World of my own filled with paranoia and such anger]


Talking is a great pain relief and although it too has side effects i am convinced they cant kill you........


sending you positive thoughts

David