I just want to cry tonight ! And then I find myself doing just that.

Ugh, I had the worst day.

First I had the mistake of putting a case conference on the wrong day
it seems. I still swear its tomorrow. My calendar says tomorrow.

But I seem to have the wrong date, I know what has happened, I
had two days reserved, waiting on a email to find out which. I got
a email, but guess I put the wrong day. So I didn't go, I was supposed
to take my dil to the hospital for a appt today. But it had gotten
cancelled.

But I got a call about 15 minutes after the meeting was supposed to
stop, so Gosh. I just didn't get to go. I was over 40 minutes away.

So I didn't go, I knew it would be way to late. And it technically
wouldn't help my parent, if I came in late. I haven't been able to
get ahold of the parent, so I have left all kinds of messages today.
He wont return my message. So, well ugh.

I am not sure if I should try to call again, tomorrow or wait. I think
I'll wait, but I just am not sure what to do.


Then this afternoon, when I get back, from picking up meds. I get
a call from my sister. Who's daughter is getting married in about 3 weeks.
I had not been going to be able to go. Its in Michigan, over 4 or 5 hours
away for me. My family doesn't seem to realize, how hard times are right
now for all our family. But with the settlement I got, I am going to be able
to go. I debated whether I should just really book, and drive all day on
a Friday for a Friday afternoon, wedding. But because its going to be
so busy through South Bend, I chose to stay 2 nights.

I haven't been able to get a commitment from my husband, and Derrick
is not sure if they will allow him to not go to school. I can work that
out. He finally told me, he isn't into weddings.

But my sister understood, that even if I said, 3 that it could still be just
me, we are pretty sure, that Dale will get a job for 3 months soon. And
if he is working, he isn't going to take off to go. Its been almost 2 years
since he has had this kind of time at a job. So its very important.

So what happens, I get a fb, message on the page, not a message itself.
From my niece, this evening. Stating, Do you know how many are coming,
My mom said, Maybe 1, maybe 3

Hmmm, if you ask me that is a answer. But she says, I have to have a answer, because I have to turn in for rec, etc.

So I called my sister in tears, told her to tell my niece it would just be me.
Since she had to have a exact number. I really shouldn't have.

I guess its back in the air in their opinion. Ugh.

I don't know we will see, I really hate going that far by myself. But there
is no way I can drive over and go with others either.

Donna