Dear Cindi1965 and her husband,
I am very deeply sorry that you both have to go through all this mess. Unfortunately, I have been through it all too. I know how painful it is to you both. I had the worst time in my workplace too. My boss actually walked around limping in front of other people and when asked what he was doing said he was imitating me! I had three reputable people tell me at three different times. I was furious...also my boss was my relative and I have to see him at any family functions!! So, it created a nightmare within my family because he said I was faking it and tried to deny my injury at work. I had to get an attorney, it has ruined my family life, my son's life (who now doesn't want to live has tried to kill himself already and I have to watch this every day). After over six years of giving my family books to read about rsd, emails sent to them to help them understand it all, talking to them numerous times, etc. I have given up on them. I try my hardest not to tell them anything going on in my life or how I am feeling because they are just in denial and are clueless. I have learned that when you are healthy and making money everyone wants to be your friend...but when you are disabled and broke no one wants to have anything to do with you.

I have also been letdown by the medical community. Some of my "highlights" are: being treated like a drug addict when I arrived in the ER for the third time with heightened pain, been told by another doctor that when he was younger he had the same injury as me and he is fine, etc... People just don't get it and never will. I told the last doctor to consider himself blessed that he did not have to go through what I do on a daily basis. I believe your husband's co should be forced to pay for your health needs as that is why you have ins in the first place. I have seen things on the news where businesses will actually fire the working employee so they don't have to pay for the spouse's health bills. Your husband needs to not say anything to his coworkers about your condition as they will never get it. If asked he can say as I do "I am just trying to survive each day while living in pain" OR "Consider yourself blessed that you or your loved ones don't have to go through what my wife does on a daily basis." And leave it at that.

My blood pressure is boiling right now over what they are doing to you both. They are just idiots. You and your husband (but esp you) need to get rid of the negative things around you and only be around positive as I have had to do. People also don't realize the relentless pain we go through and how it affects every aspect of our lives. Things we used to do within five mins can take us days to do now. I try to pray alot and I laugh at least once a day. That is my medicine haha.

Also, if your husband does not tell anyone a thing about you and then his boss knows and goes and talks to them about it your husband needs to sit his boss down and ask him not to discuss confidential information about your family with the office. My son told me one thing that I decided to try with my family member...he said to ignore him as he ignores me. If others are in the room he will say hello to me and ask how I am doing but if no one is around he doesn't even say hello. It has been very hurtful to me since we used to be really close. So I tried this method out and it does work. If I walk into a room and he is the only one in it I ignore him and then I noticed he says hello to me. I am giving him what he has given me over the years...ignorance. Like someone said earlier "What comes around goes around."

I have also noticed that when things happen to me (or have in the past) family members treat it as no big deal but if something happens to them it is the end of the world because THEY are going through it.

Just do what you both think is best for your family. Maybe when your husband ignores his coworkers they will move on to the next thing to be made fun of. Sounds like they are all just a bunch of bullies to me. Hang in there. I am glad you both have each other to get through this "journey" in your life. I am single and it all has been overwhelming as I have no one to help with finances, parenting, or just for emotional support. It is great to have your husband as your advocate who can fight for you when you are unable to do so. Hope my suggestions can help you both a bit. People are just ignorant and clueless most of the time. Support and love each other and take care of your life.
Best to you both,
kathy d