I thought about a lawyer like Pete said for you to get things calmed down but then figured out that it might make matter worse than what they already are. Is there a Human Relations Dept at your husband's work that may be able to step in and guide all involved? I know some small companies don't have a dept. I agree with Pete that ADA should be consulted about what to do and agree that the disrespect they have done towards you both is horrible. They are like a train out of control in that office and need to be stopped. However, I am also afraid like I said that they could make things worse so that he has to quit there. Hard to believe I know. Keep us informed of your progess with this matter. Cindi your husband is so sweet not wanting to tell you all these years so as not to upset your condition. What a guy.
Best of luck,
kathy d