Hi Kitty,

I am intentionally not reading any responses after your original post so as not to muddy the waters and affecting my response.

You situation is not unusual and you identified a correct "diagnosis" within your post in saying, "... he's 24 and not a child anymore. He's an adult and able to make his own decisions without Mom butting in or voicing her opinions (especially if I haven't been asked)."

There is a point we cease to have the freedom of overt parenting and must simply watch our children make bad decisions and learn by dealing with the consequences. We are obligated to be fair and up front when we are "asked out opinion or for advice." At which time should you decide not to voice your feeling with him, you may be performing a disservice to him even as a friend.

We never stop being their mom or dad, rather we move on in our relationship by being solid friends and are there when needed providing insight only when asked.

Sounds to me like you are one heck of a good mom, yet not immune to the pain of watching our children learn and grow through their own actions. For us parents, one of the hardest parts it to stand by and watch, knowing full well the consequences coming down the road.