First of all thank you so much for your thoughtful post and THAT did not escape me! (answer: please, chime away, i love chimes, and sounds like you've got a voice to go with yours too!

i am so sorry, by the way, that you and hubby lost so much in terms of music... i don't have anywhere near so many CD's but as it is i cannot listen to music out loud most of the time - have not even had a stereo in ages and the PC sounds ratty. i miss being able to just put something on to listen to, also.

i believe i would have been better off doing something along your lines than what i did, educationwise, but i was not mature enough to figure it out - i went to college young. Well, to fast-forward, life took over like an avalanche and i'm now going on 8 years of very patchy employment (more un- than anything), my "respectable" line of work and bipolar episodes having torn me to bits, over and over and over again, over the years.

a quick clarification on my job - i was getting sicker and sicker and finally quit by choice. it was a contract so leave would have been unpaid ... quitting was ultimately best. when i'm ok i will explore other lines of work like perhaps teaching.

pdoc - i don't know what i will do yet. we have state care in this country so that is available for free. i don't know the ins and out of that and there's a lot more to this whole issue, but for now, i will probably just remain sans therapist and let my GP keep prescribing my current meds.

i have never heard of that but i can try to find out. i am not up for going outside right now though or to a class. class would also mean money. this reminds me, i used to have a mid-sized ball that i used for floor exercises and i did like that! i had one a bit smaller than a beachball and made of stiffer plastic but with a little give. unfortunately i lost the pamphlet with the illustrated routines - it was quite thorough. i remember only a few. but it is an idea i will keep in mind... create my own exercises. it is something i can afford and execute in-house.

yes, i will. i feel this is my best bet. the past few days i felt absolutely HORRIBLE but today went a bit better (unfortunately no private time on sundays though). I'm going to shoot for tomorrow if i do get a privacy window. And if i do, it will be all songs from Dreamboat Annie.... Magic Man, Crazy on You, White Lightnin' and Wine... etc... the faster ones. I'll repeat if i run out of songs before i run out of steam but with the shape i'm in, that's not bloody likely.

hey just wondering... do you ever sing for your hubby? would he like that? when i was in the psych ward (ok, you are going to either laugh or scream) i had my folks bring me my guitar and i used to sing. in group rec, in the hall, outside on the grounds, or in private (room). i had several patients tell me they liked it, but by far the most powerful memory i have is of a woman who was profoundly depressed, and always had this glazed-over, expressionless sort of look. one night she came down the hall to where i was playing ... apparently it echoed down to her area. i stopped thinking i'd bothered her until she came closer and i saw that she was smiling widely, her eyes were bright, and she said, don't stop, i came to hear... WOW. that was so cool.

anyway thanks again, and i'm sending you and hubby some musico-therapeutic vibes.



~ waves ~