i am feeling flaccid and lost today.

a vague sense of torment has taken up abode upon my chest. and no, it is not the intercostal muscles adjusting to the increased singing sessions.

yesterday i accidentally (as always) wrote a song. it was positively black, hopeless. and this only a day after i'd talked/agreed with pdoc that this is not a "severe" depression. the song was basically a deathwish.

today is worse! i had privacy but did not even have the energy or will to try pick up the guitar. dance was out.

nothing. all i've done is eat... not to excess, but not for hunger. seeking comfort. but not finding it. i tried to read and had a hard time focusing on the book.

i have not started my mom's washer research i promised her.

i have had 2 cups of coffee but no agitation at all. still stim-sensitve. i opened the window and shut it for horror of the invasive outdoor sounds.

~ waves ~