Okay, you need 2 lawyers. One to do the dissability stuff for you and the other to handle your divorce.
When you tell hubby what you want in the divorce and his response is; "won't happen". Then why did he even ask? He would have said "okay" to you only if he thinks he gets out of it easy.
My heart goes out to you.....I had to start over after a 20 year marriage and I did survive.
Let this be the first day of the rest of your life......Hire 2 lawyers.
The dissability lawyer won't cost you a thing until you win your case. The divorce lawyer may end up being......priceless.
Very few divorces are "friendly" so don't be disappointed if hubby gets upset with your demands. Stick to your guns.