If you say no sex . . . no sex. If the split is his idea, tell him to get out.

Then get the best divorce attorney you can, and forget being nice. I tried to be nice, as I was the one leaving. Ex used it against me.

And be sure to designate any property you want to leave for your kids. I was unable to take everything with me when I left, and then my daughter was shut out of getting everything I left behind for her. He also had no interest in many things, except those that should have properly been mine: gifts he had given me, purchases that had been made by me, and he is still hanging on to some things that were in my family.

Unlike many here, my divorce came at the time of my best health. I had lost 60+ lbs and got into my best shape ever to climb mountains, go cross-country skiing, and live a more adventurous life after our daughter left for college. He had no interest. It started out sad, and became an angry, miserable, bitter experience.

I hope you survive and thrive your divorce. It will be challenging, but you will no longer have hing around your neck.