And working on thinking positive for the rest of the things we want to see happening in the coming years. Kid is now 35 pounds lighter, I lost 20, and we're committed to the lifestyle changes we've made to get here. I am working out every other day for 10 minutes and I feel much better, I am going to get OFF Abilify my fasting blood sugar was 100 and that's too high for my liking. We're going to do an a1c blood test in 3 months, so we'll see. I hope to be weaning off this med by then so we'll see how my appt with pdoc goes tomorrow.

I am still having the most god awful gut wrenching anxiety right now, but it's getting better. I am probably going to wean off the pain meds too, I worry about long term affects on the liver and kidneys, so we'll see if I can make the jump to being low pain, and off pain meds. I think my neck has healed a lot over time, I am planning on taking it as it comes. You can't worry too much about tomorrow today/tonight, you know? It will happen no matter what, it's what we make tomorrow into that matters. And lifestyle changes are how we can improve our health.

Hope you're all doing well, I made a pillsbury splenda cake (for lil man's bday) with splenda icing and it was AWESOME. Plan on doing another one, for Christmastime. I highly recommend them, it was great. My mother came over and tried a piece, only she's not doing so well, she's not feeling right and I am so scared she's not gonna make it another season. She still smokes and her health isn't the best as it is. It's going to be hard to let go of her, I am doing all I can to mentally prepare for the loss, while still enjoying being with her for now in the present. So that's how things are right now.