I vaguely recalled reading a similar question/concern about a month ago on the board, so I did some research, hoping to put you in touch with the other person who posted who appeared to be struggling with the same issue. A few clicks later, I discovered that the posts I recalled reading were yours!

My thoughts about that are for you to go inside yourself for the answer that is right for you!

It is a serious and potentially life altering decision and you want to feel good and right about it.
good luck