dear Waves
i am so sorry you are feeling so much pain....and suffering so much...bipolar is a monster...at times it ties are hands behind our backs and laughs at us....it leaves us feeling helpless and hopeless and spits at reality. then gradually things change....you have to wait for the change but you need to vent and vent and get the poison out of you. keep on posting about your misery and suffering and pain. we are hear to listen. remember that eventually it loses its stranglehold.
love
bobby