Hi Peg,
Thank you for bringing up this very sensitive and controversial topic. “...end of life..”
I'm in my 11th year of having PD, I live alone with my cat. For now, I can still fully take care of myself, still enjoying life with my grandkids, daughter and friends, can still go for short walks along the beach, go the gym 3 times a week, still drive for now, but I'm gradually changing over to my 3 wheeled electric bicycle and honestly I have to say: “I'm scared to death of my future”. My Parkinson's symptoms aren't going away and at some point, I'm going to have to face the day when my condition reaches a point where I had enough, no longer want to continue living, the body is past the point of a meaningful life, etc. My biggest fear is NOT being able to have control to end my life.
Down the road, hopefully it's a long road, all it takes, is a fall or a very bad cold and I could end up in the hospital. My family & doctors will have the power to decide that I will no longer be capable of living alone and taking care of myself. I could end up in a care facility, no longer in charge of my life. I've seen and known other pd'ers in the advanced stages, wishing the end would come. I've seen the pain and suffering their partners went through as they slowly watched their soul-mates whiter away. I don't want to be in that position.
I've picked up 3 good books on this topic.
If I can list them, they are:
“To Die Well” by Sidney Wanzer MD and Joseph Wanzer
“Final Exit” by Derek Humphry
and “Assisted Suicide” a Canadian Perspective
I have my legal documents in order, giving my daughter Power or Attornry, my will, etc. But when I try to talk to my daughter about me ending my life, she doesn't agree with me, get emotionally upset and it's difficult to get her to understand my wishes. I know she's scared too.
I'm constantly putting things off. I'm feel fine and happy today, so I'll put off getting my financial papers in complete order tomorrow, I'll finish my family photo albums next week. I'll clean out my closets for Salvation Army next month. [...] I'm feeling fine today so I'll put it off 'till ?? What I'm afraid of is when do I decide? It's like that frog in a pot of water on the stove. As the water heats up, the frog doesn't jump out in time. I have always told myself; The day I start needing diapers, is the day, or will I?

All we have is today,
Enjoy what we can.
Max