Dear CBlue,

Wow, you already started a taper on your own .... successfully!!! that shows you have a good stock of willpower up your sleeve! KUDOS for that. it will make this process easier. ok, so then a a whole new stash showed up and .... BOOM!!! ack! the fact that drugs enter the household via hubby and then just "sit there, beckoning," makes your situation particularly hard. hoarding is another psych addiction st.

i think you will really need a rehab program - inpatient - because as i see it you need a "safe" place where there IS NO AVAILABILITY, while you get through the rehab process.

And yes, your pdoc will be the place to start. tell him the whole deal as you have done with us.

a rehab program should do two things:
1. get the drugs out of your system, physically
2. teach you to reprocess cravings and avoid cavings.

i would be sure to talk to your pdoc, as well as the therapists wherever you go to be treated, about the fact that your husband is prescribed pain pills, and so you are likely to have an available source - especially since he doesn't take them. i don't get why he picks them up if he doesn't want them and you may be able to persuade him not to do that. but if at some point he does have to use them himself, YOU need to be prepared.

i am sorry your hubby does not understand mental illness. addictions are also really hard to understand for some people. especially "all in your head" kinds of people.

after you are out of rehab, i would also encourage you to seek a support group especially if you still have cravings and themoreso if your hubby still keeps pills around waiting to expire.

we are always here of course. i apologize for my (typical) longwindedness.

take care and keep us posted.

waves