Eva, Maybe I've said this before - I would bring all this up with your PCP. It is (ostensibly) his/her job to act as coordinator/facilitator of all of your other doctors. Let her/him do that. Make a list or write a letter - whichever best helps you keep organized and on-topic, and have copies for whichever doctors need to receive them.

I don't know what else to suggest; I hope someone else may have something constructive/positive/helpful to contribute. I agree; I think this surgeon is behaving abominably (or chickening out) but it's not the first time I've heard of this kind of thing about some (certainly not all) surgeons. Like anyone else, their "people skills" are going to differ. I hope that he is a much better surgeon than he is a communicator, but only time will tell that.

N.B. Perhaps a bit (or at least non sequitur) but Angie's List (which charges a fee, but has been offering a discount for rating them) now includes doctors.

Doc