Originally Posted by Jinxicat9

Redloui, I empathize with you completely. All of us can be drained dry emotionally, physically and mentally when over-taxed by the needs of another. Do you have support and counseling for yourself? It sounds like you're running on empty and there's no time for re-charging yourself.

Perhaps you should give yourself permission to have some time for just your life outside of running yourself ragged trying to do it all. It's ok to take time for yourself, nothing bad is going to happen to him if you don't visit every single day. Regardless of his condition, he has to learn and adapt to change also. Whether he likes it or wants to is in all honesty, irrelevant.

For me, I'm very independent, always have been, always will be. Having a TBI is not an excuse for thoughtless selfish behavior. I am "some" different and I miss my old self at times, but I don't dislike who I am now either and there's still a lot of the old me left. Not all of the changes I've experienced are negative, there's a balance of trade-offs for me that I'm willing to accept.

What I don't like is the constant expectation that I feel from my spouse that there's some magic pill or treatment that will change everything back to "normal". This is my normal. But it has little to do with me and it's more about him and his needs. Mark hit it the nail on the head. My spouse needs to be taken care of...Coddled.

I wouldn't have coddled him before my TBI and I won't do it now. But his neediness and the passive way he expresses it wears on me. I want to shout at him that this time it's not about him, but I don't even have enough left in me to do that. I feel like I have a 55 year old toddler constantly tugging at my skirt.

Ever see that cartoon from Family Guy where Stewie is going "Mom, mom, mom, ma, ma, mom, mom" and finally the mom says "What?"...Then Stewie says sheepishly "hi" and runs off all innocent. I'm her, Lois...Guess who's Stewie? I'm weary of it and it's becoming too much for me.

Cheergirl, you're likely right, I suppose I already have known in the back of my mind where my heart and head was going with this. Putting it out there just kind of made it real for me.

Mark, What can I say? Thank you. You missed your calling. You always seem to be a voice of reason and wisdom. Your thoughts gave me much food for thought and soul searching. Thank you for the sincere thoughtfulness of what you shared with me. It means a lot to me.