I find that birthdays are harder now, too. It's not just you. But honestly, you are a survivor. Look how far you've come, against all the odds? Maybe not everything in your life is happy, but you have good times, smiles, laughs, even if it's not as often as it used to be. Celebrate the little victories and take joy in life's simple pleasures. It's easy to see the glass as half empty--just don't let yourself take the easy road here. Keep going, and you will surprise yourself what you can do. Find something new and amazing to do every year, maybe even on your bday. Doesn't have to be within the old confines of "amazing" -- pick something the NEW YOU can appreciate and do it. Take care Heather

Oh yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!