im afraid if i go back out of work...i would essentially have nothing to live for and would enter further into a crazy depression that i wouldnt be able to get myself out of. Working right now is at least validating my worth and making me feel like a productive member of society. I was out earlier this year with a back injury for 3 months, and then after being back for 1 month, i had the TBI and out 3 and a half months. Over 6 months this year I have been out of work and i cant imagine going back out again and being that bored out of my mind again. I think working is keeping me sane in a way, even if it is producing awful painful symptoms and utter exhaustion. I think i also am just wishing it will magically get better somehow. Before i returned to work 2 months ago, i felt great. Cant believe how much worse ive gotten since then. such a nasty vicious cycle!!! grrrrrrrr