Glad I've done this in the UK. Far from perfect and going in the wrong direction but we still have housing benefit and incapacity benefit if needed.

nightnurse i too struggle with the idea of not being a productive member of society. i'm coping by thinking more in the long term, what i can do when i get better, whenever that might be. most things i do which are aimed at being 'productive' at the moment, set me back and take that day further away.

thinking of you, sounds like you've got one of the worst jobs for these sorts of symptoms