((((((Bee)))))),

Life doesn't suck. It's the inconsiderate people that you run into that make it seem so.

I don't have that many relatives close to me. My son's in prison. And I don't really talk with my Brother any more.

I've run into the same thing as you -- sometimes the doctors won't do certain procedures unless you're accompanied. I actually paid a cab driver to accompany me once. She was nice and she was helpful. And she got a nice tip.

I use The Ride (which is the paratransit service here). The doctors used to not accept that as "being accompanied". But, I've explained that these people are trained and certified. It's not like picking up a cab on the street corner and maybe getting mugged because you're too unstable from the medications. The doctors have finally started accepted that as "being accompanied".

I'm lucky now that there's a woman who lives in the next town over from me. She's actually started a little business. She'll run errands and accompany you to doctor's appointments. She actually didn't charge me for the waiting time at the doctor's -- which I thought was absolutely "angelic".

Some other things to think about that might help you: sometimes senior centers have volunteers that will accompany you to doctors appointments. Post an ad on www.craigslist.org. Ask at the local high school and see if there's a senior (especially one that might be planning to go into a medical field) -- they could probably use a little extra money.

Now, as for the ship-head Brother of yours -- if he won't return cellphone calls, send him a text message.

Bee, DO NOT -- I repeat -- DO NOT put off getting a colonoscopy because of logistics.

Ask a local priest or rabbi to recommend someone. Ask the bagger at the grocery "you want to make $10??". When you get to the hospital, call a cab and ask them to sit in the waiting room with you until you're ready to leave. Then have them take you home. There's tons of ways to get around this.

The very first thing that I would do, though, is send that ship-head brother of yours an email and say "Even though we don't get along, sometimes I NEED you. Are you going to be there for me or not??"

Honey, you must have learned after coming through whole through a bad marriage that you can't assume anything about anyone. You have to have honest communications with everyone that's in your life. Tell your Brother, you need him. Then if he's still not there for you, you can evict him from your life.

And PLEASE-PLEASE do not put off that colonoscopy any longer.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb